How to survive an earthquake in London

Step 1 — Stare curiously at the couch, trying to figure out if it’s moving because the neighbor downstairs is doing something strange.

Step 2 — Realise that it’s rather late at night, so neither your neighbor downstairs nor the empty flat next door is responsible.

Step 3 — Remember that it feels strangely like an earthquake you felt in Hawaii on holiday about ten years ago.

Step 4 — Go to bed.

Step 5 — Wake up to news from the BBC saying there was a earthquake (5.2 on the Richter scale) in Lincolnshire.

Easy!